No one will love you like i could, if you would let me. It’s a strange occurrence, this feeling that’s arisen in me. I can’t seem to place it. It’s unfamiliar, but all too familiar. A ghost of a feeling. I must have felt this in a past life. Sunlight creeps through my windows as the morning goes on, and i smile: knowing you’re thinking the same thing as i. We’re running out of time. I keep the faucet running in the empty house, so i feel a little less alone. I watch the light bend on the walls, and count the minutes until i fall asleep. I know this place inside out. All this separation does is make me wish you were here. And wishing is fruitless. You were carried away by the passing of days, eyes caught in city lights from some distant place. Your static ridden phone calls from the other side of the world still haunt me. The sadness in your voice, the desperation. Eventually you gave way to the storm and i tucked you away in some dark corner of my psyche. I miss you everyday.
“Wait. But don’t wait too long. Work hard. But don’t forget how to play. sing loudly. But don’t learn all the words. Wonder. But not so much that you lose yourself. Read magazines. But read more books. Love.”—
I’ve tried to keep the world at a distance. It’s been easy. I’m used to keeping the world at a distance. I’m alien. I’m most comfortable been alien. That way i forget the world. That way i stop crying and raging. That way the world becomes white and inconsequential…
Fuck if they call you hipster. Fuck them all. Fuck if everybody hates you. Fuck if you’re depressed. Fuck negative shit. Fuck fat, “normal” and skinny people. Fuck your ex. Fuck your failed exam. Fuck your ruined dreams. Fuck your awesome loved band. Fuck disney artists. Fuck indie stuff. Fuck triangles, space stuff, Fuck you, me and everyone you know. Fuck tumblarity. Fuck all of your awesome clothes. Fuck insomnia. Fuck all the time. Fuck everything.
But most importantly: Fuck whatever people say, do your own thing without giving a shit
i want to wear your t-shirts and watch movies with you until sunrise. i want to share an ice-cream sundae with you and hold your hand as we walk down the shore. i want to decorate a christmas tree with you and have snowball fights and drink hot chocolate whet is gets cold outside. i want to kiss you in the rain and watch jeopardy every night together like an old couple. i want to watch the starts and the sunrise with you. thats all.